During the last 3 years, God has richly blessed me with a youth group and parents that I love and enjoy being around. The fellowship we have is like nothing else. Someone once described it as a "Fusion Family" and that is truly what we are and what we have worked towards the past 3 years. It has not been easy to stay the course and trust in God's plan. It has been a little bit easier when we have a vision and purpose for what we are wanting to accomplish, so we can pinpoint activities and events that we want to be a part of that will further our vision and purpose.
However, the thing that I have enjoyed most about the last 3 years is all the ways that God has humbled me to learn many things along the journey and to understand that it's not all about me. Youth Ministry is about God and building disciples of Christ. It's about the students and parents. If it ever becomes about you, then you have a recipe for disaster.
Here are a few things that I have learned in my first 3 years of full-time ministry:
1. It's not about numbers. It's about souls.
This has probably been the hardest lesson to learn. In youth ministry, everyone looks at the numbers. "How many were on the retreat? How many were in class? How many did you take to Exposure?" The idea of numbers is driven home by each question that starts with "How many...". It's natural because we live in a results oriented society. It's hard not to be disappointed when you have put so much time and effort into an event/class/bible study and then a handful of students show up. It's especially hard when those who do show up are disappointed because of the lack of participation. It's not always easy to put a smile on your face and keep going despite the disappointment. At some point we have to realize that souls are more important than numbers.What if our number oriented results turned into soul oriented results? Those few people who came to that particular event may have needed that personal time with you. They may have needed to hear the bible study or devotional that you have prepared. They may have benefited from it more than you realize because of the intimacy of the group. We read in the bible where 3,000 souls were added to the Lord's church (Acts 2:41) and we think that we need to do something special to reach 3,000 souls. In reality, we need to reach one person at a time, one soul at a time. What if Andrew had never reached out to Peter and introduced him to Christ (John 1:40-42)? We might not have had the sermon on the Day of Pentecost that reached 3,000 souls. You never know who that one person you might reach that could be the next Peter. However, we overlook them when we focus on numbers and not souls.
2. Everyday is not a bed of roses.
Contrary to popular belief, ministry is not a bed of roses everyday. When I first began full-time ministry, I was excited. I looked forward to waking up everyday knowing that I was serving the greater good and changing lives. Youth Ministry is full of planning, studying, and building relationships and all of those things, I love. However, Satan goes around like a roaring lion trying to tear everything apart that you have worked so hard on (1 Peter 5:8).Those relationships you built - torn apart. That event you planned - fell apart. There's at times a sense of failure due to personal expectations. There's situations you aren't prepared for that you didn't learn in school. What do you do when a member of your youth group is arrested? What about when someone openly practices homosexuality? What policy do you turn to for trips and events? What about the time you offended someone and didn't know about it? The personality conflicts, working with a multi-person staff, and the expectations of others can cause frustrating days.
Frustrations can build up because circumstances and plans aren't going the way that you would like them to go. Then you remember that God is good and He will take care of all that I need if I turn it over to Him. If I can remember that there God turns all things into a bed of roses, then on the worst of days I can know that God is my creator and Christ is my Savior. What can man or Satan do to me? (Psalm 118:6)
PS - I LOVE WHAT I DO! It's not always easy but it is a very rewarding work!
3. Patience. Patience, Patience.
Repeat after me. Positive changes do not happen overnight. It was egotistical and naive for me to think that I could walk in and within the first year shape the youth ministry into the way I wanted it with no regards to the current students or what the previous Youth Minister had done.
Looking back, I wish I had done things differently. Instead of making some big changes within the first year, I wish that I had stuck with what was in place and slowly begin to implement some changes that I wanted to see. Even in that process, there is a certain amount of patience that one would need to have in understanding that positive changes will not happen overnight.
In being patient, I have learned that I may never see the fruits of my labor because things may not begin to click until a student is in college or an adult. Some may come back and explain how I impacted their life, but most will not. I am in the watering business with the parents being the seed planters (I Cor. 3:6-9). Most of all, I understand that God gives the increase in His own due time.
Also be patient in seeing events all the way through. There will be some things that you try that you know right off hand that it is not a fit for your group. However, there are times where circumstances effected what you had planned. You will have to spend some time in prayer and thoughts to figure out if this is something that might work in the future. Be diligent to see it all the way through, give it a chance, and be patient to try it again. It's easy to scrap something after one time. Someone who is patient will try it multiple times to have a larger sample size to see if it is a fit for your group or not.
These are 3 things that I learned, but I could go on. I could talk about being a team player, handling conflict, understanding different personalities you work with and worship with, making sure parents are involved, and on and on. However, I will save those for a later post when I can go in to more detail about each one because those are important, as well. Time does not allow for me to discuss these things in this post, but look for it in the future!
Find our more about our ministry at www.rosehillyouth.com.
