The following is the manuscript of the eulogy that I gave at my mother's funeral on Friday, July 17, 2015. I hope this brings comfort and peace to those who are grieving and healing from my mother's death. She was a beautiful person inside and out.
Salibonani! - Most of you don't know what that means but this is how you greeted one another in Zimbabwe. My mom was so happy that Joy and I were over there serving the Lord that she loved so much.
First of all, let me say Thank You on behalf of my brother and I for the continuous prayers that have been lifted up during this difficult time. We have been overwhelmed with the outpouring of love, encouragement, and support that has been offered to us over the last few days. It has been a difficult process but with each day it gets better as we receive peace and comfort from the only one who can provide that to us, our heavenly father. It’s not easy finding out news when you are on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean with limited communication and unable to offer help and support to your family. Thank you for all those who stepped in and provided love to my family when I could not. I don’t know how anyone gets through a tragedy like this without a church family but most importantly God. He has provided so much comfort to my family in our time of need. My church family from Rose Hill has surrounded me and Joy with love. When we found out the news on Monday, the mission team from Rose Hill immediately surrounded Joy and I to pray for us. Then, we were surrounded again at 5am on Tuesday as we began our journey home. There is nothing more comforting than to know that so many people are praying for us in this time of need. How do we get through something like this? We know that my mom is in a much better place now and she is singing loud with the angels up in Heaven. Is it hard? No doubt! Does it hurt? More than most of you will ever know. Will it get better? Absolutely! As Johnny put on Facebook this morning, the Christian life is not meant to be lived alone and that has certainly been evident over the last few days. Johnny shared a quote by Jay Guin that says, "Church is not about the order in which we say the opening prayer versus the announcements or whether we use a piano to accompany our singing. Church is about loving each other enough to avoid the dangers, temptations, and lies of sin so that no one dies in the desert and we all enter the promised land together. I mean, what fun would Heaven be if our friends weren't with us?" I'm so glad I have a church family to help me each step of the way. If you don't have one, I encourage you to find one. Having a spiritual family to lean on is some of the best peace and comfort you can have outside of the peace and comfort God gives to us.
The Lord tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 that He knows the plan He has for us - It’s not always easy to trust in God’s plan but in times like these we have to know that God does have a plan and that good will come from this tragedy. I don’t know what the plan is or when it will reveal itself, but I know God will take care of all us in the days ahead and in His time God will reveal what He wants us to know. One my mom’s favorite verses was Romans 8:28, “All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose.” My mom loved our God and I know good will come from this situation. Will the good happen to me or you? We don’t know but God says that He will take the hurt, the sadness, and turn it in to good. Who knows? Maybe the good is some of her friends and family coming to know the Lord in the upcoming days or weeks. I don’t know what it is but I am going to trust in God that He will take care of us and I ask that you will do the same. God is an awesome and good God. Trust in Him - even when it is difficult.
So many of you have shared verses with us over the last few days - these verses have provided a lot of comfort to us. The biggest struggle when something like this happens is what to say and so many of you have said that there are no words that will bring comfort to us and that is true. I don’t even have to words to say to express how I felt but sharing God’s word with us is very comforting. Isaiah 41:10 says, “fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you; I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Never have I questioned God, if it was up to Him there would be no death in this world but because of sin, death entered the world. I know God has been with me and my family each step of the way and He has provided me strength in the most difficult of situations. After being rescued from his enemies and from the hand of Saul, David writes in Psalm 18:2 - “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” What an awesome rock we have to lean on in tough times - just like David I choose to take refuge in my God who can deliver me from the hand of the evil one as I fight the many different emotions that run deep during my mother’s death. Jeremiah says during a difficult time in 32:17 - “’Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you.” Nothing is too hard for God - what a humbling thought. It’s not too hard for God to strengthen us during this difficult time of loss. It’s not too hard for God to walk with us while comforting us and providing us peace. It’s not too hard for God to speak through me today, so that I can share with you just a little about my mom. Are we shocked and saddened by her death? Yes, but she would want us to smile at the memories we have of her and it’s is not too hard for God to help us to look back on all the great times and be thankful for the legacy she left behind and the time we did have with her. “The Lord God is my strength. My Bravery. He will walk me through places of trouble and suffering.” God is good. All the time.
My mom loved to sing - she was always walking around the house singing a tune. That tune usually was “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot.” I don’t know what it was about that song that caused her to continually singing but as my brother so eloquently put on Facebook - “The sweet chariot my mother used to sing about swung low to take her home.” If you ever sat in church with her, you could pick out her disctinct soprano, almost operatic, voice. She loved to sing praises to God and did not care what others around her thought of her singing - Of course, it didn’t really matter because she had such a beautiful voice. While she may have loved singing, the sermons didn’t always keep her awake. I remember growing up she might doze off during a sermon and someone would wake her up and her common response was, “I was just checking my eyelids for holes.” One of the most amazing things about mine and Joy’s mission trip to Zimbabwe was the singing by the african people. I know she would have loved to hear their natural four part harmony and I was so glad I was able to share just a little of the video I had with her so she could hear the singing. Although that singing was some of the most beautiful I have ever heard, it does not compare to the singing that my Mom is a part of in Heaven right now. I know she is loving every note. She always had a song in her heart and had a song for every situation. Her life could have easily been a musical. She enjoyed her passion for singing with the Decatur Civic Chorus whether it was in musicals or in the choral concerts. I can’t put into words the joy that singing brought to her life.
She would, on occasion, challenge me to try and do new things. One of those things was theatre. I remember in High School we decided we were going to audition for a musical with Decatur Civic Chorus, so I went with her to the auditions. However, I backed out. I can remember her being upset with me because she wanted to do the show with me. She was cast in the show and come to find out later they needed some extra male actors. So, I went and enjoyed it. So, the next year we decided to audition for the show, again… Well, again… I decided to back out but filled extra spots after the audition. My senior year, I went through with the audition and received one of the lead roles - She was so proud to share the stage with me, but not just me - my brother, James, joined us on stage for that show, also. It was a family affair. Ironically, because she shared the love of theatre with me - I met my wife because of theatre.
Mom also encouraged me to become a song leader. She wanted to share her passion for singing with me. So, I tried my hand at it and now I have a passion for singing. Just like my mom, I know a song for every situation and find myself singing often. Most importantly, I love to sing praises to God and lead others in their worship to God. If it had not been for her pushing me to explore that talent, I don’t think I would be a song leader today.
On Saturday was the last time I got to talk to my mom. We face timed with her from Zimbabwe, so we could tell her about all the great things that had been going on because she had supported us throughout the whole planning process leading up to the trip. I wanted to share with her all that we were doing and all that we were learning. I told her that on Monday evening we were going to a place called the BOMA to eat supper where we would have traditional african food and entertainment. I told her that we could eat a worm there and receive a certificate for it. I had told mom that I wasn’t sure if I would do that and she kept giving me a hard time and encouraging me to eat the worm. I remember her saying, “you should try it and bring the certificate home to show us” Well, mom, I did it - I ate that worm (which wasn’t too bad) and I have the certificate to prove it. (show certificate) That was for you mom. Thank you for encouraging me to do things that made me get out of my comfort zone. I am better off because of it.
Mom was always so supportive of the things I was doing. Whether it was playing sports, acting, or youth ministry, she was always encouraging me along the way. Whenever we would talk or text, the conversation always led in to all the things that I was involved in and how she was so proud of the work that I was doing. One particular time she was bragging on my use of social media in ministry, and told me I needed to put a presentation together to share with other ministers and churches. Come to find out, she used what I was doing as example for what she thought their youth minister was doing. You know, James and I could do no wrong in her eyes because a mother’s love for her children runs deep. We weren’t perfect children or even to get along with sometimes but she loved us anyways. She supported us always in everything that we did and are doing. Mom and I shared a love for technology and social media. We would commonly talk about the church website that she was in charge of and give each other tips on how to improve our perspective websites and social media use for ministry.
While we couldn’t do any wrong, that wasn’t always the case for Granny. I would spend the night with Granny because this was when I could go off and rent wrestling videos to watch without my mom’s knowledge - but somehow she always found out that Granny would let me watch them and then she would tell Granny, “you know I don’t let Andrew watch wrestling” and Granny would say, “Yeah but he is at my house and I said it was okay” Needless to say, my mom still let me stay over at Granny’s even though she knew I would rent wrestling videos to watch. The last instruction she would always give me before I went to Granny’s was, “do not ask Granny if you can go rent any of the wrestling movies” …. Well, let’s just say I never followed that last instruction. If I was at Granny’s - I was going to watch wrestling movies. Sorry mom!
One thing I greatly appreciated about mom was her constant perseverance, especially in the teaching profession. In Philippians, Paul talked about not looking behind but continuing to press forward toward the prize. Paul knew perseverance and so did Mom. For any of you in the teaching profession you know how hard it is to sometimes find a job, so my mom would take sub jobs, long term substitution jobs, maternity leaves, or whatever to try and get her foot in the door. Often times, she would get a job and have it for a year or two but as you well know, if you are a non-tenured teacher and teacher units are being cut, then you are at risk at losing your job. However, she did not allow that to slow her down - she would look for a new job because she loved teaching kids. She had a passion for sharing her knowledge with the students in her classroom. She eventually would get her masters degree in Library Sciences where she could combine her love for teaching with her love for books and share with students who came through her library. She was at her happiest when she was teaching or working in a library. Many times she could have given up on the teaching profession, but kept pressing on. Even if the job wasn’t in a classroom, she found jobs where she could use her teaching experience. I always admired her perseverance because when life knocked her down - she got back up, dusted herself off, and kept moving forward. I challenge you tonight - while today is not easy, dust yourself off, and keep moving forward. Do not live in the past - that is not what mom would have wanted you to do. She would want you to focus your eyes on the end prize - that’s Heaven so that she can share with us whenever our time comes to leave this world.
There were many times were I wanted to quit different sports and teams or other activities but mom would always tell me, "we have paid too much money for you to quit. So, go back in there and keep practicing because you're not quitting." That's how she loved her life - with a no quit attitude and that was displayed in every aspect of her life.
While my mom was perseverant, she had a competitive side to her. She loved and i mean LOVED playing games - card games, board games, video games. If it had game in the name, she wanted to play it. Every holiday she looked forward to sitting around the table and playing games with the family. I think she looked forward to that more than she did opening presents at Christmas. It wasn’t that she just wanted to play the games, she also wanted to win. She played to win each and every time - sometimes challenging rules along the way (if it was to her advantage). Mom always had an eye for new and unique games. Almost every Christmas, she would call me ahead of time and tell me about a new game she had found that she wanted to play during Christmas. This last Christmas I got to share a new game with her called “Quelf”. She enjoyed it so much, she insisted we play another round… even though it was already 11pm. Needless to say, we did not play that round… Whenever someone says, let’s play one more round, just go for it… you never know when it might be the last round.
Her love for board games was accompanied with her love for family. I can’t tell you how much she loved her family. She loved spending time with her family no matter how immediate or distant they were. She just loved family time together especially during the holidays. When I talked to her on Saturday, she had traveled to Tennessee with Granny to visit her newest great-niece Rayna Lynn. Although it was a coincidence, mom was so happy that she shared the same middle name with Rayna. She joked and said Rayna was named after her. I don’t know about you but I am so happy that Rayna does share the name Lynn because she can carry on the name in our family. As I told Jeffrey on monday, “I’m proud that Rayna can share that name with my mom.” I remember when I told her I planned to marry Joy. She was so happy to finally have a daughter. She was so proud that I chose Joy to be my wife and was so glad Joy was joining our family. That first Christmas together mom bought joy a stocking and various kitchen items that said Joy to the world. She loved to give gifts that had our names in it. Mom could not wait to spoil her grandchildren. I can’t wait to share wonderful memories with my future children about their grandmother who left this earth way too soon but left such a beautiful legacy behind. She wasn't always good at subtle hints. Last Thanksgiving, Joy and I went to her house and there sat a new red rocking chair. Joy looked at me and wondered who/what that rocking chair was for. Mom came into the living room and asked if we had seen it. We said, "yes... who's that for?" Mom responded, "OH! That's for my grandchildren!" There are many things she will miss out on here on earth but I would not ask her to trade her spot in Heaven to continue living in this sinful world.
Lastly, I want you to know that my mom loved her church family at Central Church of Christ. Every time I spoke with her, she would brag about all the wonderful works that they were part of in Athens. One particular time, she called me to tell about a special service where Jerome Williams led singing. She couldn’t stop talking about the singing that day. She was beaming from the wonderful worship through singing that was provided that day. This week I was able to listen to a video she recorded during that service while she was singing. Thankfully, I will have this video to watch from time to time as I remember her beautiful singing voice.
My mom was someone I could be proud of. I have loved reading all the sweet comments on facebook this week left by friends and families. I loved reading about how her beautiful blue eyes would light up when talking about James and I and how proud she was of us. While life has taken us in different directions and new places, we did not talk as much as I would have liked but I always knew she was a phone call away if I needed her. I am so thankful for the time that I did have together with my mom but now God needed her more than I did and she is rejoicing in heaven, smiling her beautiful smile, and singing a beautiful song. She truly was a beautiful woman.
I know that it is difficult to comprehend why someone so young had to leave this life. I know that we are hurting and sad. I know that in the days to come and for the rest of our life we will miss our mom. However, God will provide us strength in the days and years to come. Each day will get better and each day we move closer to seeing mom again. Cast everything on God and He will provide to you a peace which surpasses all understanding while guarding our hearts and minds.
There's so much I want to share but time will not allow. I will miss her smile, her laugh, her singing, and all the wonderful memories that we had together. Even though I will miss her here on Earth, I would never want her to exchange her new eternal home to spend one more day in our temporary home here on earth.
Mom always told me when she passed, she wanted to peacefully pass in her sleep. God took care of her and My mom has been welcomed home. She is waiting to see us and I will live my life everyday looking forward to seeing her and God.
James 4:14 - “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a but a vapor/a mist/a fog that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”
Life is short. Live your life for today but most importantly live your life for God so that in end others can know about His love, his power, his strength, his forgiveness, and His son. Mom would want us all to be messengers of God just as she was.
Today - love a little deeper, laugh a little louder, hold the ones you love a little tighter and make God the king of your life because tomorrow is not promised.
Dr. Seuss once said, "Dont cry because it's over. Smile because it happened".
Choose to smile even when it's tough and remember mom's beautiful smile.
Until we meet again....
Keep smiling. Keep singing. I love you mom!
