Three Years of Leather

On March 3rd I reached the third anniversary of full-time ministry at Rose Hill Church of Christ. I was expecting an abundance of leather to come my way to celebrate. Leather shoes, leather fabric, leather jacket, leather bible, leather chaps... anything leather... By the way, I am still waiting..

During the last 3 years, God has richly blessed me with a youth group and parents that I love and enjoy being around. The fellowship we have is like nothing else. Someone once described it as a "Fusion Family" and that is truly what we are and what we have worked towards the past 3 years. It has not been easy to stay the course and trust in God's plan. It has been a little bit easier when we have a vision and purpose for what we are wanting to accomplish, so we can pinpoint activities and events that we want to be a part of that will further our vision and purpose.

However, the thing that I have enjoyed most about the last 3 years is all the ways that God has humbled me to learn many things along the journey and to understand that it's not all about me. Youth Ministry is about God and building disciples of Christ. It's about the students and parents. If it ever becomes about you, then you have a recipe for disaster.

Here are a few things that I have learned in my first 3 years of full-time ministry:

1. It's not about numbers. It's about souls.

This has probably been the hardest lesson to learn. In youth ministry, everyone looks at the numbers. "How many were on the retreat? How many were in class? How many did you take to Exposure?" The idea of numbers is driven home by each question that starts with "How many...". It's natural because we live in a results oriented society. It's hard not to be disappointed when you have put so much time and effort into an event/class/bible study and then a handful of students show up. It's especially hard when those who do show up are disappointed because of the lack of participation. It's not always easy to put a smile on your face and keep going despite the disappointment. At some point we have to realize that souls are more important than numbers.

What if our number oriented results turned into soul oriented results? Those few people who came to that particular event may have needed that personal time with you. They may have needed to hear the bible study or devotional that you have prepared. They may have benefited from it more than you realize because of the intimacy of the group. We read in the bible where 3,000 souls were added to the Lord's church (Acts 2:41) and we think that we need to do something special to reach 3,000 souls. In reality, we need to reach one person at a time, one soul at a time. What if Andrew had never reached out to Peter and introduced him to Christ (John 1:40-42)? We might not have had the sermon on the Day of Pentecost that reached 3,000 souls. You never know who that one person you might reach that could be the next Peter. However, we overlook them when we focus on numbers and not souls.

2. Everyday is not a bed of roses.

 Contrary to popular belief, ministry is not a bed of roses everyday. When I first began full-time ministry, I was excited. I looked forward to waking up everyday knowing that I was serving the greater good and changing lives. Youth Ministry is full of planning, studying, and building relationships and all of those things, I love. However, Satan goes around like a roaring lion trying to tear everything apart that you have worked so hard on (1 Peter 5:8).

Those relationships you built - torn apart. That event you planned - fell apart. There's at times a sense of failure due to personal expectations. There's situations you aren't prepared for that you didn't learn in school. What do you do when a member of your youth group is arrested? What about when someone openly practices homosexuality? What policy do you turn to for trips and events? What about the time you offended someone and didn't know about it? The personality conflicts, working with a multi-person staff, and the expectations of others can cause frustrating days.

Frustrations can build up because circumstances and plans aren't going the way that you would like them to go. Then you remember that God is good and He will take care of all that I need if I turn it over to Him. If I can remember that there God turns all things into a bed of roses, then on the worst of days I can know that God is my creator and Christ is my Savior. What can man or Satan do to me? (Psalm 118:6)

PS - I LOVE WHAT I DO! It's not always easy but it is a very rewarding work!

3. Patience. Patience, Patience.

Repeat after me. Positive changes do not happen overnight. It was egotistical and naive for me to think that I could walk in and within the first year shape the youth ministry into the way I wanted it with no regards to the current students or what the previous Youth Minister had done. 

Looking back, I wish I had done things differently. Instead of making some big changes within the first year, I wish that I had stuck with what was in place and slowly begin to implement some changes that I wanted to see. Even in that process, there is a certain amount of patience that one would need to have in understanding that positive changes will not happen overnight. 

In being patient, I have learned that I may never see the fruits of my labor because things may not begin to click until a student is in college or an adult. Some may come back and explain how I impacted their life, but most will not. I am in the watering business with the parents being the seed planters (I Cor. 3:6-9). Most of all, I understand that God gives the increase in His own due time. 

Also be patient in seeing events all the way through. There will be some things that you try that you know right off hand that it is not a fit for your group. However, there are times where circumstances effected what you had planned. You will have to spend some time in prayer and thoughts to figure out if this is something that might work in the future. Be diligent to see it all the way through, give it a chance, and be patient to try it again. It's easy to scrap something after one time. Someone who is patient will try it multiple times to have a larger sample size to see if it is a fit for your group or not.

These are 3 things that I learned, but I could go on. I could talk about being a team player, handling conflict, understanding different personalities you work with and worship with, making sure parents are involved, and on and on. However, I will save those for a later post when I can go in to more detail about each one because those are important, as well. Time does not allow for me to discuss these things in this post, but look for it in the future!

Find our more about our ministry at www.rosehillyouth.com. 

2 years and counting...

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9

Last week my two year anniversary as the Youth and Family Minister at Rose Hill church of Christ quietly passed (March 3). Each year, I like to reflect on the past year and look at the changes and growth that our ministry experienced, as well as, that I personally experienced. Youth Ministry can be a frustrating and discouraging job. It requires lots of patience, gentleness, kindness, understanding, and self-control (Galatians 2:22-23). You will go through many ups and downs in ministry. However, what keeps me going is that the ups in ministry always ALWAYS outweigh the downs. You're affecting people's lives and affecting them for the better. There's a lot of gratification in counting your blessings and cheering on the small victories in life. 

Personally, I read Galatians and it speaks to me personally in so many ways. Paul, a patient man, writes to the people in Galatia - some who sought to destroy his character and authority. He writes anyways. Particularly in Chapter 5 Paul encourages the Christians there to serve one another in love (5:13) and cautioned against a temper, which if indulged, would hinder us from showing the mutual love and servitude in which he recommended (5:16). I read Chapter 5 and I ask myself, "Why youth ministry?" It's simple - a love for others, particularly our youth, to teach and show them what a mighty God we serve. Yet, my shortcoming is wearing my emotions on the outside and having an easy face to read. Something that Paul specifically cautions against because it will hurt our ministry. In a way, it is good when people can see my passion for ministry. The negativity is when something goes wrong and disappointment floods into my emotions while spilling out into the public. What a balance it is to be able to serve in love and to control your emotions for the sake of not damaging your ministry. It's something I feel like I am constantly working on - a thorn in my flesh. 

Then, I read Galatians 6. This speaks directly to me and the ministry I am a blessed to lead. 

• Keep watch on yourself, lest you be tempted (v. 1). A lot of people have a notion that Youth Minister's do not have struggles. How can we when we are teaching others about overcoming sin, right? However, some of our lessons are more personal than you know. We/I must avoid placing myself on the pedestal of not having struggles; otherwise, that's when temptation will become the greatest.   
• Bear one another's burdens (v.2). Sometimes it is a lot to bear, but there's no doubt that you will feel some satisfaction when helping to carry someones burdens and sharing in that together. Isn't that what being a part of a Christian family is all about?
• If anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, deceives himself (v.3). Wow! That is so true. If we ever begin to think that what we do is ministry is all about us - watch out! I am only able to do what I do because of the grace of God and nothing else! I simply plant but God provides the increase. I pray that I will never forget that.

I could go on and on about the verses leading up to verse 9. This one really hits me. "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (6:9) Let us not become weary... Wow! Is that possible? Tiredness seems to be a natural occurrence of what I do. When I read this, I translate it to mean - Let's not become so tired that we experience burnout and leave the work because at the time of God's choosing we will be rewarded for our work if we do not give up. Yes, I do experience weariness but the desire to do the will of God gives me life and energy to keep pursuing the harvest. 

Once we have understood v. 9, we can move to v. 10 - "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially those in the household of faith." Don't go weary, you will be rewarded for not giving up; therefore, we need to seek opportunities to do good to all people when we have a chance, especially Christians. What a summation of ministry: Let's not grow weary and let's do good for all people. In other words, "Go into all the world..." seeking people we can minister. That includes our youth group, families, strangers, friends, etc. 

And here we are at the 2 year mark... What's the assessment? God has plenty of work that still needs to be done. I will continue pursuing the work, ministering to the needs of the students and families, and will count my blessings (big and small) along the way. I will continue to pray for strength to overcome my shortcomings and count it all joy (James 1:2) when I do encounter less than pleasant times because I know it will help us to be a stronger ministry by going through trials and various things. 

To God be the Glory!

www.rosehillyouth.com - check us out!

Lessons in White Water Rafting

I've rafted several times on the Ocoee River without ever falling out of the raft. I pride myself in being able to stay in the raft and cruise the river safely through the rapids. This past weekend, however, I took a trip down the white water course on the Chattahoochee River in Columbus, GA - I fell out of the raft...

Here's a little backstory: We had just survived the biggest Class V rapid on the river, "Cutbait". However, we had one more to go as we ferried back up the river to put in at the top of "Heaven's Gate", a class IV or V rapid (an appropriate name for what I would experience). As we paddled towards the rapid our raft hit a rock which caught me off guard and bounced me and one more out of the raft to fend for ourselves. The other was able to swim back to shore due to being in the back of the raft.

It was a pretty frightening moment in my life as I floated down the river towards the rapid that laid waiting to swallow me up. It was a moment that I wish to never repeat, but looking back on it and in a different light there can be some spiritual applications to what happened with my adventure into the unknown on the high seas.

1. Get Uncomfortable. In the raft, I knew I was safe. I knew that nothing could harm me if I just stayed in the raft. I was comfortable there because I knew what was known. Staying inside the raft = Staying safe. While this is the best option for rafting, it's not the best option for our Christian lives. Getting out of the boat and getting uncomfortable will help us to grow in our faith. In Matthew 14:22-33, we read of an account where Peter trusts his faith and gets out of the boat (literally!). Jesus actually said only one word to Peter: "Come!" Before then, Peter had nothing to stand on but water, and had he stepped out of the boat, he would have immediately sunk. But once Jesus spoke, Peter could stand on the Word of God. By faith, he stepped out of the boat and began walking toward Jesus on the water. He was literally walking by faith. When did Peter begin to sink? It was when he doubted. And why did he doubt? Because he began looking at the high waves around him, becoming fearful. Our faith leads us to do tremendous things if we can keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, but when we don't we will stay in the boat and we won't trust in God that He has something amazing in store for us. I think of people when they go to new places to do mission work - Doesn't that make them uncomfortable? Yes, but they trust in God that He will keep them safe. I was uncomfortable as I headed towards the first big rapid (without a boat) but I trusted that God would keep me safe through it all. 
2. Take The Plunge. When I fell out of the raft, my guide told me to swim back to the shore (which I tried to do), once I realized I wasn't going to make it, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to just have to take the plunge and face the rapids. I go into the river position (nose and toes up) and I just went. In our lives, don't we do the same? We decide, I can't keep swimming away from the inevitable. I can't keep living this life and I'm just going to have to take the plunge. I may not know what life has in store for me but I have to make a decision now to follow Christ and be a child of God. Peter took the plunge by stepping out of the boat and stepping on to his faith to follow Jesus. He knew Jesus would protect Him. For some of us, it's time to step out of the boat and decide to follow Christ. "For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ." - Galatians 3:7 Will we experience being uncomfortable when we decide to follow Christ? Yes, but that's because you are changing and forming a new life centered around Christ. You know what has to be done... so just do it! (As Nike would say..) I had no choice but to take the plunge into the unknown of what was about to happen next. 
3. There will be unknowns. When you are out of the raft, there are a lot of unknowns. Will I survive? Will I be rescued? How long will I be underwater? Will I ever see above water again? And the list goes on and on. These questions ran through my head as I tried to think of the safety talk we had been given prior to the start of the trip (and at the Ocoee). I, honestly, didn't know if I was going to ever come up out of the water and I sure didn't realize I could hold my breath for as long as I did. I remember Jesus saying in John 16:33, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." And those words echo in my ear today. It says to me, you are going to face some uncomfortable times, some trials, some things that you were not expecting, but Jesus says, "That's okay. I have faced them to and you can have peace because I overcame those things and the world." As I sat floating underneath the water for what felt like forever, I had no idea what was going on. The only known was that I was underwater, my sandal was being ripped off my foot, I lost my sunglasses, and that I needed to hold on to my swim trunks. What we know about the Christian life is that there will be unknowns, there will be trials and tribulations. We know that if we follow Christ, receive salvation and forgiveness of our sins, then we will live with God for eternity. We can prepare ourselves by knowing there will be unknowns.
4. God will make a way. "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." I Corinthians 10:13 During the safety talk we were told that the whitewater course had been built in a way that if you found yourself in a rapid that it would flush you out, this man made course had provided a way of escape. Even knowing this I did not have trust that it was working, because my idea of flushing is a quick 2-3 seconds and it washes you right out... That didn't happen... In our walk with God, we can know that He provides a way of escape for us in temptation. Again, we may have different ideas of what that may look like but God, in His time, helps us out. God is faithful. Though Satan;s a deceiver, God is true. Men may be false, and the world may be false; but God is faithful, and our strength and security are in him. He keeps His covenant, and will never disappoint the hope and trust of his children. He is wise as well as faithful, and will proportion our burden to our strength. He will not suffer us to be tempted above what we are able. He knows what we can bear. He will take care of us so we are not overcome, if we rely upon him, and resolve to approve ourselves faithful to him. We need not perplex ourselves with the difficulties in our way when God will take care that they shall not be too great for us to encounter, especially. He will make a way to escape, either the trial itself, or at least the mischief of it. There is no valley so dark but he can find a way through it, no affliction so grievous but he can prevent, or remove, or enable us to support it, and in the end overrule it to our advantage. "God will make a way where there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see. He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side. With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way. God will make a way." Do you trust Him that He will? or will you give up easily, like I did in the rapid, and fear there is no way of escape?
5. Teamwork is key! Little did I know that eventually our whole raft would be dumped into the river. When two people fell out, it shifted the weight distribution, people forgot to paddle as they watched my adventure, and there was not enough momentum to get the raft up and over the rapid causing it to flip and dump everyone into the river. In I Corinthians 12, particularly verses 12-27, Paul paints a picture (a funny one at times) of what the body of Christ should look like. He sums it up by saying that we are many parts with different functions and abilities, but we function as the ONE body of Christ. "You are the body of Christ. Each one of you is a part of it" - I Corinthians 12:27 How will the body survive if we do not work together as a team, as a unit? The New Testament is filled with pleas and calls for unity of the body of Christ, because it is important that we work and function together as a team! On the river it is essential you work together as one. You paddle together, you communicate the paddle strokes, etc. If one person is out of sync with the others or if one side is paddling harder than the other it will turn your raft the wrong way causing potential danger and dumpage! In the Christian life it takes all of us working together to accomplish great things through God. When someone is danger, it takes someone to reach out and pull them to safety. When someone experiences something good, then we rejoice with them and we weep with those who are hurting (Romans 12:15). I am Team God! Who's team are you on? 

I did finally come up out of the water. I finally escaped the treacherous waters that I had taken a plunge into and came out safely on the other side. It wasn't without fighting, some doubt, and lots of prayers but in the end the waters did flush me out and helped me to escape. God does the same in our lives, if we just trust Him and keep our eyes fixed on Him and the end goal of Heaven.

It's funny, when you seek God you can truly find Him in everything. I chose to find him in whitewater rafting. Where have you seen God lately?

Parent Driven Church: Part 3

We continue with the series on the Parent Driven Church. Our society is moving more and more towards being dependent on ministers and forgetting the groundwork that should be laid in the home so the Youth Minister can supplement that teaching. We need to get back to having a Parent Driven Church and I hope this blog will help you find ways to do exactly that. You can find Part 1 and Part 2 by clicking the link. 

"Parents are usually the most important influence in their kids' lives" - Chapter 6 Stick Family Relationships, Sticky Faith: A Leader's Guide

Did you read that carefully? Parents are an important influence for their kids. As a youth minister, it is sometimes exhausting thinking about the responsibility that I have for the students in our ministry and for their faith (and sometimes lack thereof).While adult role models are important and should be a factor on youth ministry, there is nothing more important when it comes to Faith than the Parents.

Let me provide you with some research. Sociologist, Dr. Christian Smith from the University of Notre Dame conducted a nationwide telephone survey of more than 3,000 teens and their parents, as well as, 267 in-depth interviews and he concluded: "Most teenagers and their parents may not realize it, but a lot of research of sociology of religion suggests that the most important social influence in shaping young people's religious lives is the religious life models and taught to them by their parents."

Yes, there are exceptions but think about it this way. How many hours, on average, does a youth minister spend with your child compared to the hours parents are spending with their children? There is a vast difference in time there. Parents are most certainly the launching pad of their child's faith and because of time spent with them, Parents help to shape, guide, and mold their faith. Don't misunderstand, a Youth Minister's job is very important, as well, the point is Parents need to do a better job at home helping to mold their kids faith.

According to Search Institutes's nationwide study of 11,000 teenagers from 561 congregations, 12% of you have a regular dialogue with their mom on faith/life kids. In other words 1 out of 8 kids talk to their mom about faith. With dads, it is 1 out of 20, or 5%. Approximately 9% of teenagers engage in regular reading of the bible and devotions with their families. Not even 1 out of 10 teenagers are looking at scriptures with their parents.

When you do engage your children in dialogue about their faith, what questions are you asking? Is it the standard, "What did you talk about in church today?" "How was youth group?" "What did you think of the sermon?" and I think we already know the answers to the questions that our teens will respond with. According to Fuller Youth Institute, asking these questions can pay off, but what is really is important is that parents also share about their own faith. It is important that we are not only living out our faith, but talking to our kids about our faith, as well.

There are certain taboo issues that need to addressed and discussed that parents tend to shy away from, and even let the youth minister handle those issues (sometimes with it coming a little too late). For example, according to Kara Powell of FYI, she says, "Two different sets of data indicate that the more important religion (not just Christianity, but also other religions) is to parents, the more difficult it is for those same parents to talk with their kids bout sex." That's pretty disappointing. We have to find a way to have these conversations with our kids in a healthy, balanced, and scriptural way. These conversations help to guide, shape, and mold their faith.

Want to know how we can have a Parent Driven Church? Have a faith driven family that isn't afraid to share or talk about their faith with their kids. Don't avoid taboo conversations and encourage your kids to live out their faith.

*Research found in Chapter 6, "Sticky Family Relationships", in the book Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids. Dr. Kara E. Powell and Chap Clark, PhD. 

Evangelism

Every Thursday we have a youth bible study in our home using the Hashtag Video Series "For His Glory" as our material. This week we viewed the video on evangelism and discussed how we can evangelize.

For a 26 year old youth minister, I made the assumption that everyone knew this word "evangelism"; however, to a not yet Christian 6th grader, this word was foreign. So, the question, "What is evangelism?" came up before we even started the video, which was a perfect place to jump in to our discussion. We started from the beginning, defined the term, and talked about how we can use it to reach others before watching the video.

However, this exchange made me think - Are we failing our youth when they do not know what evangelism is? Am I taking their knowledge for granted and skipping over basic things that need to be reinforced? Are they ready for such a topic as Evangelism when they are still growing in their knowledge of who God is and what He does? These questions flooded my mind, then I came up with a simple answer. You are never too young to hear about how we should share God's love with other people, and we are never too old to stop wanting to share God's love with others. There is no age limit on evangelism and yet, we sometimes just skip right over and take it for granted that people understand this concept.

What is our mission? One of the things we focus on in our student ministry is simply the word "Go" which is a concept Jesus used in His ministry and reminds us to do the same.

• GO make disciples of all nations. (Matt. 28:19)

• GO baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (Matt. 28:19)

• GO out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame. (Luke 14:21)

• GO out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled. (Luke 14:23)

• GO proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins to all nations. (Luke 24:27)

• GO be witnesses of these things. (Luke 24:28)

• I chose you and appointed you that you should GO and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide. (John 15:16)

I want our students to have a heart for missions and evangelism, a heart that reaches out to the hurting, a heart that is concerned for the spiritual well-being of others, but we sometimes become so focused on those outside the church that we lose focus on the ones inside the church. We have students in our youth ministry we need to reach out to, parents who are hurting, and adults who are wavering. What are we doing to reach out to them? I challenged our group on Thursday night with this question, "What are you doing to reach out to others in our youth ministry?" The response: silence. No one had ever challenged them to reach out to our own, they had never thought of ways to reach out to them, and they certainly didn't have an answer when they were asked what they were doing. I could see the look in their eyes. It was a look of nervousness because they knew they should be wanting to do more, they just simply have not been doing it. I tossed some numbers at them concerning our ministry and the youth who are a part of it. They were simply astonished realizing that we were not reaching our full potential as a ministry. 

Evangelizing is a 365 day effort, not just an every now and then thing. It sometimes takes the smallest of tasks like simply inviting someone to worship with us, asking them to fellowship with us at an event, asking someone how they are doing, or telling someone they've been missed. Sometimes it simply takes a "Hello" on our part to welcome a visitor. There are a couple of conferences for our young people that specifically focus on evangelism. One in Montgomery, AL at the end of the summer, Southern Evangelism Conference (SEC) and one in South Carolina in November, East Coast Evangelism Conference (ECEC). It is my goal and my aim to take our youth to one of these every year to re-emphasize the importance of evangelism. For 3 days out of the year our youth receive training for 362 days of evangelism!

Let me share with you some tips and encouragement from the ECEC twitter page:

Pray every morning that God will bring someone hungry for the Gospel into your life. Study so you'll be ready when He does! #362evangelism

Going into school is going into one of the biggest mission fields in the world. Are u making a difference? #362evangelism

Invite those u eat lunch with to pray with u to bless ur food. #362evangelism

So, my question to you is simply this, "What are you doing to reach out to others in your school, your family, your church family, your workplace, or your community?"

In 2014...

Sunday I met with my youth committee, which helps me to successfully define our ministry and who we want to be, what we want to see, and what we can improve on. I enjoy the times we have together discussing the future because I am always looking ahead to what's next. Planning and preparing is something I enjoy doing (even though I fail at times) it is enjoyable and to a degree even relaxing for me. I look forward to the future!

However, sometimes God has different plans in store for us and our ministry. I constantly ask Him to show me the way that He wants us to go, to guide my steps, and to give me wisdom in making decisions when it comes to our ministry. I believe our focus always needs to be God-centered. Sometimes we lose that focus in the planning and executing of the plans even if it does involve something spiritual in nature. Are we doing event because we truly believe in the power it will have to help spiritually develop our students? Sometimes I worry that I lose sight in what God truly wants and that I am just filling the calendar with things just to have events. I pray that God is truly at work and giving me the wisdom to plan what is necessary for our student ministry. I also ask God to bring my ministry to the point where we aren't just focused on the students anymore but it is helping families to keep the conversation going at home and we are several working and moving parts, but together as a unit. 

In 2014 I want to be a better minister and husband. I want God to truly direct my steps and to remove any selfish ambition that is in the way of the ministry that God has laid before me. In 2014, I want to be able to touch the heart of each student and their families to supplement their spiritual development. In 2014, I want to see us take a more active approach in the outreach in our communities and make a direct impact on those people. In 2014, I want others to know God by showing them His love through my life. These are things that I desire. However, I want to do what God desires for me, in 2014.