How do we raise kids who serve?

                If I asked your kids, what would they say is at the heart of what it means to be part of your family? In other words, how would your kids finish this sentence: “Our family is….”

                I grew up with a very strong sense of what it meant to be a Thompson. We wore our family name with pride, after all, the motto on our family crest was “Nosce teipsum” or translated, “know thyself.” We would never do anything to tarnish the family name, because early on it was instilled in me what being a Thompson meant. Both by their example and by their words, my parents instilled in me that being a part of the Thompson family meant you were hardworking and looked for ways to humbly serve others. Our family is hard-working servants.

                Joy and I hope to instill the same values in our children, one day… a few years down the road. We pray that our family will be leaders and learners, people of gentle strength, content risk-takes, and folks who love and serve God and others. Do we have all the answers? No, and if you are honest with yourself, you don’t have all the answers even now, as a parent or when you did have children.

                A question you may find yourself asking is, “How can we be parents who love and serve God and others, and who raise kids who do likewise?” How can we plant a vision for kingdom service so deeply in our kids that they can’t help but offer love and hope to those in need? Words and Actions.

                I read about a family that shares this longing that their kids have a heart for service. They have made a commitment, as a family, to help folks who are homeless not by giving them money but by buying them a bag of groceries instead. As their three daughters were growing up, the parents explained, “Our family does not give money when we are approached on the street. We buy food instead.” When approached by someone who was homeless, the parents would run into a nearby supermarket and buy a bag of groceries for the person in need, often with their daughters in tow.

                Recently, their seventeen-year-old daughter was heading alone into a grocery store when she was approached by a homeless man who asked her for money. Even though Kristen was alone, she repeated the family mantra to him: “Our family does not give money. We buy food instead.” She walked into the grocery store and spent $17 of her own money to buy groceries. When she returned home, she never asked her parents to reimburse her.

                 Want your kids to grow up and be servants, to love the Lord, and be a productive part of society? Show them. Show your children how to be servants. Show your children that you love the Lord. It’s all about words and actions, and it all starts with you, the parents, in your own home. After all, when your kids grow up, they will be a reflection of you. If you are inconsistent in your spiritual walk, it’s safe to assume your children will be, as well. If you don’t value God, church, and family as a priority in your life, study shows that neither will your children. Live your life in the same way you want your children to live theirs, and you will see a child who loves God and serves others. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” –Proverbs 22:6

Parent Driven Church: Part 3

We continue with the series on the Parent Driven Church. Our society is moving more and more towards being dependent on ministers and forgetting the groundwork that should be laid in the home so the Youth Minister can supplement that teaching. We need to get back to having a Parent Driven Church and I hope this blog will help you find ways to do exactly that. You can find Part 1 and Part 2 by clicking the link. 

"Parents are usually the most important influence in their kids' lives" - Chapter 6 Stick Family Relationships, Sticky Faith: A Leader's Guide

Did you read that carefully? Parents are an important influence for their kids. As a youth minister, it is sometimes exhausting thinking about the responsibility that I have for the students in our ministry and for their faith (and sometimes lack thereof).While adult role models are important and should be a factor on youth ministry, there is nothing more important when it comes to Faith than the Parents.

Let me provide you with some research. Sociologist, Dr. Christian Smith from the University of Notre Dame conducted a nationwide telephone survey of more than 3,000 teens and their parents, as well as, 267 in-depth interviews and he concluded: "Most teenagers and their parents may not realize it, but a lot of research of sociology of religion suggests that the most important social influence in shaping young people's religious lives is the religious life models and taught to them by their parents."

Yes, there are exceptions but think about it this way. How many hours, on average, does a youth minister spend with your child compared to the hours parents are spending with their children? There is a vast difference in time there. Parents are most certainly the launching pad of their child's faith and because of time spent with them, Parents help to shape, guide, and mold their faith. Don't misunderstand, a Youth Minister's job is very important, as well, the point is Parents need to do a better job at home helping to mold their kids faith.

According to Search Institutes's nationwide study of 11,000 teenagers from 561 congregations, 12% of you have a regular dialogue with their mom on faith/life kids. In other words 1 out of 8 kids talk to their mom about faith. With dads, it is 1 out of 20, or 5%. Approximately 9% of teenagers engage in regular reading of the bible and devotions with their families. Not even 1 out of 10 teenagers are looking at scriptures with their parents.

When you do engage your children in dialogue about their faith, what questions are you asking? Is it the standard, "What did you talk about in church today?" "How was youth group?" "What did you think of the sermon?" and I think we already know the answers to the questions that our teens will respond with. According to Fuller Youth Institute, asking these questions can pay off, but what is really is important is that parents also share about their own faith. It is important that we are not only living out our faith, but talking to our kids about our faith, as well.

There are certain taboo issues that need to addressed and discussed that parents tend to shy away from, and even let the youth minister handle those issues (sometimes with it coming a little too late). For example, according to Kara Powell of FYI, she says, "Two different sets of data indicate that the more important religion (not just Christianity, but also other religions) is to parents, the more difficult it is for those same parents to talk with their kids bout sex." That's pretty disappointing. We have to find a way to have these conversations with our kids in a healthy, balanced, and scriptural way. These conversations help to guide, shape, and mold their faith.

Want to know how we can have a Parent Driven Church? Have a faith driven family that isn't afraid to share or talk about their faith with their kids. Don't avoid taboo conversations and encourage your kids to live out their faith.

*Research found in Chapter 6, "Sticky Family Relationships", in the book Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids. Dr. Kara E. Powell and Chap Clark, PhD. 

Evangelism

Every Thursday we have a youth bible study in our home using the Hashtag Video Series "For His Glory" as our material. This week we viewed the video on evangelism and discussed how we can evangelize.

For a 26 year old youth minister, I made the assumption that everyone knew this word "evangelism"; however, to a not yet Christian 6th grader, this word was foreign. So, the question, "What is evangelism?" came up before we even started the video, which was a perfect place to jump in to our discussion. We started from the beginning, defined the term, and talked about how we can use it to reach others before watching the video.

However, this exchange made me think - Are we failing our youth when they do not know what evangelism is? Am I taking their knowledge for granted and skipping over basic things that need to be reinforced? Are they ready for such a topic as Evangelism when they are still growing in their knowledge of who God is and what He does? These questions flooded my mind, then I came up with a simple answer. You are never too young to hear about how we should share God's love with other people, and we are never too old to stop wanting to share God's love with others. There is no age limit on evangelism and yet, we sometimes just skip right over and take it for granted that people understand this concept.

What is our mission? One of the things we focus on in our student ministry is simply the word "Go" which is a concept Jesus used in His ministry and reminds us to do the same.

• GO make disciples of all nations. (Matt. 28:19)

• GO baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (Matt. 28:19)

• GO out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame. (Luke 14:21)

• GO out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled. (Luke 14:23)

• GO proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins to all nations. (Luke 24:27)

• GO be witnesses of these things. (Luke 24:28)

• I chose you and appointed you that you should GO and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide. (John 15:16)

I want our students to have a heart for missions and evangelism, a heart that reaches out to the hurting, a heart that is concerned for the spiritual well-being of others, but we sometimes become so focused on those outside the church that we lose focus on the ones inside the church. We have students in our youth ministry we need to reach out to, parents who are hurting, and adults who are wavering. What are we doing to reach out to them? I challenged our group on Thursday night with this question, "What are you doing to reach out to others in our youth ministry?" The response: silence. No one had ever challenged them to reach out to our own, they had never thought of ways to reach out to them, and they certainly didn't have an answer when they were asked what they were doing. I could see the look in their eyes. It was a look of nervousness because they knew they should be wanting to do more, they just simply have not been doing it. I tossed some numbers at them concerning our ministry and the youth who are a part of it. They were simply astonished realizing that we were not reaching our full potential as a ministry. 

Evangelizing is a 365 day effort, not just an every now and then thing. It sometimes takes the smallest of tasks like simply inviting someone to worship with us, asking them to fellowship with us at an event, asking someone how they are doing, or telling someone they've been missed. Sometimes it simply takes a "Hello" on our part to welcome a visitor. There are a couple of conferences for our young people that specifically focus on evangelism. One in Montgomery, AL at the end of the summer, Southern Evangelism Conference (SEC) and one in South Carolina in November, East Coast Evangelism Conference (ECEC). It is my goal and my aim to take our youth to one of these every year to re-emphasize the importance of evangelism. For 3 days out of the year our youth receive training for 362 days of evangelism!

Let me share with you some tips and encouragement from the ECEC twitter page:

Pray every morning that God will bring someone hungry for the Gospel into your life. Study so you'll be ready when He does! #362evangelism

Going into school is going into one of the biggest mission fields in the world. Are u making a difference? #362evangelism

Invite those u eat lunch with to pray with u to bless ur food. #362evangelism

So, my question to you is simply this, "What are you doing to reach out to others in your school, your family, your church family, your workplace, or your community?"

In 2014...

Sunday I met with my youth committee, which helps me to successfully define our ministry and who we want to be, what we want to see, and what we can improve on. I enjoy the times we have together discussing the future because I am always looking ahead to what's next. Planning and preparing is something I enjoy doing (even though I fail at times) it is enjoyable and to a degree even relaxing for me. I look forward to the future!

However, sometimes God has different plans in store for us and our ministry. I constantly ask Him to show me the way that He wants us to go, to guide my steps, and to give me wisdom in making decisions when it comes to our ministry. I believe our focus always needs to be God-centered. Sometimes we lose that focus in the planning and executing of the plans even if it does involve something spiritual in nature. Are we doing event because we truly believe in the power it will have to help spiritually develop our students? Sometimes I worry that I lose sight in what God truly wants and that I am just filling the calendar with things just to have events. I pray that God is truly at work and giving me the wisdom to plan what is necessary for our student ministry. I also ask God to bring my ministry to the point where we aren't just focused on the students anymore but it is helping families to keep the conversation going at home and we are several working and moving parts, but together as a unit. 

In 2014 I want to be a better minister and husband. I want God to truly direct my steps and to remove any selfish ambition that is in the way of the ministry that God has laid before me. In 2014, I want to be able to touch the heart of each student and their families to supplement their spiritual development. In 2014, I want to see us take a more active approach in the outreach in our communities and make a direct impact on those people. In 2014, I want others to know God by showing them His love through my life. These are things that I desire. However, I want to do what God desires for me, in 2014.