Parent Driven Church - Part 1

Growing up during holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) we would gather at my Granny's home or at my Mawmaw and Pawpaw's home. We have a large amount of family that gathers under one roof for the holidays and no way for all of us to sit around one table to eat a meal together. So we set up two tables/areas: the adults' table and the kids' table.

I know that we are not the only family to use this clever and simple solution to accommodate our family. I can almost feel you smiling and nodding your head as you think about the two tables or areas at your family gatherings.

At my Granny's the kids (originally) sat at a table in the corner while the adults gathered around the dining room table. However, we outgrew this arrangement, so the great-grand kids sit around the table in the corner, the grand kids have graduated to the living room, and the adults still sit around the dining room table. At Mawmaw's the adults would gather around the dining room table in the dining room, while the kids gathered around the kitchen table and island area.

Eventually I thought I would "graduate" to the adults' table; alas, I am still waiting on this day to come as I watch our family grow even larger with the addition of spouses and more kids. However, I have a feeling that the adults would not understand our conversations as they had their pleasant conversation. Our table talk usually centered around gross and disgusting things until we were asked to stop or someone was grossed out (which was the ultimate reward!).

"In theory, we were at the same meal. In actuality, we had two very different experiences. This sounds a lot like how adults and kids experience church today.

Most churches have Adult Ministers and Youth Ministers. Adult mission trips and Student mission trips.

Do sixteen-year-olds need time to be together and on their own? Sure. As one youth worker told me, "The average sixteen-year-old guy doesn't want to talk about masturbation with Grandma in the room." Neither does Grandma, so that's a win-win!

But one of many mantras is that "balance is something we swing through on our way to the other extreme." I'm afraid that's what's happened here. In an effort to offer relevant and developmentally appropriate teaching and fellowship for children and teenagers, we have segregated - and I use that verb intentionally but not lightly - kids from the rest of the church.

And that segregation is causing kids to shelve their faith." - Excerpt used from Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids. Dr. Kara E. Powell and Dr. Chap Clark. Chapter 5: A Sticky Web of Relationships

Next Blog: Parent Driven Church - Part 2 (Welcoming Children)