Social Media Crash Course

I was talking to some of the parents that have been attending my parents class on Sunday mornings. We were talking about the class and if it was beneficial for them. In the midst of talking we started discussing future parents class, and the idea of having more discussions on technology/social media/digital parenting/etc. It's one of those things we could fill up a whole 13 week quarter discussing because there is so much out there for parents to learn and discover as kids try to stay three steps ahead of their parents. I want to share with you today, another resource from Chad Landman, "Social Media Crash Course". Granted, this is a fluid and ever-changing world - by tomorrow none of this information could be relevant (and that is the scary thing when we think about the digital world).

For more of Chad's articles and resources visit www.chadl.co or http://start2finish.org/category/active-digital-parenting/

Social Media Crash Course 

Social media, just like technology, changes at the speed of light. Next month there will be a whole new app or service on the scene that appeals to your kid more than the last. Some have more lasting power than others. Some are dangerous, like one I will tell you about today. Some are harmless if you know you child's account info and can log in to see what they've been doing.

Things to remember...

**1. You are the product, not the customer.** These services bill themselves as services to you, the customer, but in actual fact, you're really they're product. How do these companies make billions of dollars? Every time you click, like, retweet, or post something, they get money. They sell your data to advertisers. That's how they make billions.

**2. Nothing is private.** In the face of all the passwords and security and what not, you'd think your data would be safe and secure. It's not. Data breaches happen at these companies all the time. Your data that you put out there has to be transmitted somewhere and it can be intercepted in a variety of ways. Your data is stored on server farms out in the middle of nowhere and people can get your data that way. DON'T EXPECT ANYTHING TO BE PRIVATE ON THE INTERNET.

**3. Know your child's account username and password for any and all accounts.** You should have unlimited access to their accounts at any time, and they should KNOW that you have unlimited access to their accounts at any time.

**4. Your child will naturally gravitate towards what is popular with their friends and what you're NOT using.**

Twitter

• Twitter - the simplest of the social media services
• "Micro-blogging" at 140 characters (same limit as a original text message)
• Facebook status updates without the Facebook
• Twitter is especially appealing to teens because parents aren't on there yet
• Big diff between Twitter and Facebook: Twitter is largely ungoverned - except for spam. 
• You can follow whomever you want - users can also follow you (unless you have an protected account)
• You can retweet whomever you want - and people can retweet you - basically reposting to all their followers what you tweeted
• You can block whomever you want
• You can report anyone for spam
• Direct Messages (DMs) - private messages between users
• Hashtags - ways of categorizing tweets (i.e. #BAMAvsTAMU) 
• Everyone that looked up that particular hashtag could see my tweet 

Facebook

• Started in 2004 for college campuses to interact with each other
• Has grown to over 1 billion users worldwide in 2013
• Has been extremely popular with kids up until the last 24 months or so
• The Hashtag and "private" aspect has dwindled teens' involvement
• Parents and adults now flood the site (most active group is 35-45 year olds)
• You can like Pages or join Groups - none of this private
• You can tag or be tagged in photos - provided you have enabled that under privacy settings
• Privacy setting I love: Make everyon that tags you in something let you approve it before it goes to your timeline
• Privacy settings change and are reset at irregular intervals - no time to go over all of them
• Privacy Shortcuts
• Make sure to check your settings periodically to make sure nothing has been set back to default
• While sometimes confusing, Facebook does allow lots of control of your privacy on their site
• You can deactivate your account, but your data remains for a minimum of 36 months
• Facebook's entire motive is to get you to share EVERYTHING
• Addresses - Facebook does not need to know my address!!

Instagram

• Photo sharing - not a whole lot else
• Let's you tag or @-reply to friends or anyone - also add hashtags a la Twitter and geo-locate
• Let's you take pictures and post them through the app or select pictures from your camera roll
• Allows graphics, screenshots, other pictures and content
• Does not allow pornography or violent content
• You can like or comment on a photo
• You can connect your account to post to Twitter, Facebook, and other services
• Remember: Facebook owns Instagram now, so they will do everything they can to connect it to Facebook for you

Vine

• Vine is "Instagram for video"
• Let's you share 6-second micro-videos with the world
• Does allow you to protect your account (only followers can see your posts)
• Does not allow you to edit existing video and use it
• Allows social discovery of videos easily (not all videos are exactly Christian) 

Snapchat

• Billed as the "private" messaging app
• Very alluring to teens because it deletes photos 10 seconds after they are viewed
• You can friend (add) people and send them messages
• You can add text to your messages
• From the beginning, this app did not have good intentions
• It was built for sharing nude or inappropriate photos on a "non-public" network
• Deleted photos can still be intercepted, stored and retransmitted
• Photos can be screenshotted on the actual phone itself
• Honest opinion? Delete it. Don't allow your children to use it.

Kik Messenger

• Not a lot of difference between this and Snapchat
• Does not delete your photos unless they are deleted manually by the user
• You can share all types of media - Youtube videos, sketches, etc.
• It's just another place where parents AREN'T

For more of Chad's articles and resources visit www.chadl.co or http://start2finish.org/category/active-digital-parenting/

There are so many other apps out there. I plan to share some of the Top 15 apps that kids are on in my next blog post! Hope you have a great day and find this information beneficial!

How do we raise kids who serve?

                If I asked your kids, what would they say is at the heart of what it means to be part of your family? In other words, how would your kids finish this sentence: “Our family is….”

                I grew up with a very strong sense of what it meant to be a Thompson. We wore our family name with pride, after all, the motto on our family crest was “Nosce teipsum” or translated, “know thyself.” We would never do anything to tarnish the family name, because early on it was instilled in me what being a Thompson meant. Both by their example and by their words, my parents instilled in me that being a part of the Thompson family meant you were hardworking and looked for ways to humbly serve others. Our family is hard-working servants.

                Joy and I hope to instill the same values in our children, one day… a few years down the road. We pray that our family will be leaders and learners, people of gentle strength, content risk-takes, and folks who love and serve God and others. Do we have all the answers? No, and if you are honest with yourself, you don’t have all the answers even now, as a parent or when you did have children.

                A question you may find yourself asking is, “How can we be parents who love and serve God and others, and who raise kids who do likewise?” How can we plant a vision for kingdom service so deeply in our kids that they can’t help but offer love and hope to those in need? Words and Actions.

                I read about a family that shares this longing that their kids have a heart for service. They have made a commitment, as a family, to help folks who are homeless not by giving them money but by buying them a bag of groceries instead. As their three daughters were growing up, the parents explained, “Our family does not give money when we are approached on the street. We buy food instead.” When approached by someone who was homeless, the parents would run into a nearby supermarket and buy a bag of groceries for the person in need, often with their daughters in tow.

                Recently, their seventeen-year-old daughter was heading alone into a grocery store when she was approached by a homeless man who asked her for money. Even though Kristen was alone, she repeated the family mantra to him: “Our family does not give money. We buy food instead.” She walked into the grocery store and spent $17 of her own money to buy groceries. When she returned home, she never asked her parents to reimburse her.

                 Want your kids to grow up and be servants, to love the Lord, and be a productive part of society? Show them. Show your children how to be servants. Show your children that you love the Lord. It’s all about words and actions, and it all starts with you, the parents, in your own home. After all, when your kids grow up, they will be a reflection of you. If you are inconsistent in your spiritual walk, it’s safe to assume your children will be, as well. If you don’t value God, church, and family as a priority in your life, study shows that neither will your children. Live your life in the same way you want your children to live theirs, and you will see a child who loves God and serves others. “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” –Proverbs 22:6

Parent Driven Church: Part 3

We continue with the series on the Parent Driven Church. Our society is moving more and more towards being dependent on ministers and forgetting the groundwork that should be laid in the home so the Youth Minister can supplement that teaching. We need to get back to having a Parent Driven Church and I hope this blog will help you find ways to do exactly that. You can find Part 1 and Part 2 by clicking the link. 

"Parents are usually the most important influence in their kids' lives" - Chapter 6 Stick Family Relationships, Sticky Faith: A Leader's Guide

Did you read that carefully? Parents are an important influence for their kids. As a youth minister, it is sometimes exhausting thinking about the responsibility that I have for the students in our ministry and for their faith (and sometimes lack thereof).While adult role models are important and should be a factor on youth ministry, there is nothing more important when it comes to Faith than the Parents.

Let me provide you with some research. Sociologist, Dr. Christian Smith from the University of Notre Dame conducted a nationwide telephone survey of more than 3,000 teens and their parents, as well as, 267 in-depth interviews and he concluded: "Most teenagers and their parents may not realize it, but a lot of research of sociology of religion suggests that the most important social influence in shaping young people's religious lives is the religious life models and taught to them by their parents."

Yes, there are exceptions but think about it this way. How many hours, on average, does a youth minister spend with your child compared to the hours parents are spending with their children? There is a vast difference in time there. Parents are most certainly the launching pad of their child's faith and because of time spent with them, Parents help to shape, guide, and mold their faith. Don't misunderstand, a Youth Minister's job is very important, as well, the point is Parents need to do a better job at home helping to mold their kids faith.

According to Search Institutes's nationwide study of 11,000 teenagers from 561 congregations, 12% of you have a regular dialogue with their mom on faith/life kids. In other words 1 out of 8 kids talk to their mom about faith. With dads, it is 1 out of 20, or 5%. Approximately 9% of teenagers engage in regular reading of the bible and devotions with their families. Not even 1 out of 10 teenagers are looking at scriptures with their parents.

When you do engage your children in dialogue about their faith, what questions are you asking? Is it the standard, "What did you talk about in church today?" "How was youth group?" "What did you think of the sermon?" and I think we already know the answers to the questions that our teens will respond with. According to Fuller Youth Institute, asking these questions can pay off, but what is really is important is that parents also share about their own faith. It is important that we are not only living out our faith, but talking to our kids about our faith, as well.

There are certain taboo issues that need to addressed and discussed that parents tend to shy away from, and even let the youth minister handle those issues (sometimes with it coming a little too late). For example, according to Kara Powell of FYI, she says, "Two different sets of data indicate that the more important religion (not just Christianity, but also other religions) is to parents, the more difficult it is for those same parents to talk with their kids bout sex." That's pretty disappointing. We have to find a way to have these conversations with our kids in a healthy, balanced, and scriptural way. These conversations help to guide, shape, and mold their faith.

Want to know how we can have a Parent Driven Church? Have a faith driven family that isn't afraid to share or talk about their faith with their kids. Don't avoid taboo conversations and encourage your kids to live out their faith.

*Research found in Chapter 6, "Sticky Family Relationships", in the book Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids. Dr. Kara E. Powell and Chap Clark, PhD.