Can I be honest for a moment? I have struggled with how to even approach this topic. In fact, it has sat in my drafts folder since October, 2019. I believe it is even more pertinent as we spend time in isolation and ministers struggle to know if they are "doing enough"... I want to share something that has been on my heart for awhile. This comes from a place of love and concern, not of angry or pointing fingers. It is an article that I hope will help us to be people who take care and concern for our ministers within the church.
It was June 28th. I was scrolling through facebook when I saw a post that shook me to the core. It was the news of an unexpected passing of a fellow servant in Christ. While I did not personally know Brian, we had crossed paths. I had heard him speak to youth, seen the magic shows, and watched his infectious personality take over the room. Any time I was around him it was easy to see his love for the Lord and the passion he had for sharing that with anyone who would listen. Later that day, my fears were confirmed - another minister lost to suicide.
You see, this is not the first time this has happened to a minister or even a leader of the church. It seems that once a month or more I read news of another minister who has decided that this life on Earth is no longer worth living. I do not blame the church, but I do think we can do a better job of caring for our ministers. Some churches are great at this, but not all are. Ministers are burning out at an alarming rate and we, as members, must do what we can to encourage and care for our ministers.
A minister can feel lonely at times as if they are on an island all by themselves. We offer help and encourage spiritual growth in others, but where do we turn for help? Who can we talk to about our struggles? What will the members think if I share my sins in an open forum? How will I be received if I respond to my own invitation of repentance? These are often questions that ministers have to face. I know you already know this, but Ministers are not perfect people and should not be treated as so. We DO mess up, because we are sinners (Romans 3:23). The gift of grace goes a long way.
So, what can we do? How can we ease the mind's of ministers so that they know the church supports them? How can we reduce the feeling of loneliness that a minister may feel, especially in a new place? I don't have all the answers, but these are just a few of my suggestions.
Pray Daily
If there is nothing else that you do, pray for your minister daily. Most ministers and their families feel very alone in the midst of their churches. They may not have close friends in the congregation to whom they can go with burdens. They may feel that they can’t share needs because they, of all people, should have everything running smoothly. In truth, the minister’s family is just like yours. They struggle with similar issues and problems.You may not know the struggles that your minister faces, but your prayer can be focused on strengthening your minister. Pray for his family. Pray that the minister will be shielded from the schemes of the devil. Pray that the church will be open to God's word that is presented through the ministry. Pray for your minister's growth, the church's growth, and opportunities for God to work. If you truly want to encourage your minister, let them know that you have prayed for them that day. Additionally, every time you pray for your minister - let them know. Ministers, ask specific people in your life to pray for you. This way you know that everyday you have someone praying for you.
Positive Communication
Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14
When we communicate with our minister, it needs to be as positive as it can be. Often times it is the negative criticism that speaks the loudest, hurts the hardest, and stings the longest. Negative feedback is rarely followed up with any positive encouragement. Therefore, negative thoughts begin to creep in - Am I being effective? Is there anything I do right? Would this church be better off without me? This allows thoughts of sadness, depression, loneliness to begin to take hold. In Deuteronomy 3, Moses was probably frustrated when he was not allowed to take the people of Israel into the promised land, but God told him he needed to "encourage and strengthen" Joshua as he would be the one to lead the people (v. 28-29). In order to encourage and strengthen the one charged with ministering the flock, we need to communicate in a positive way. The family of God is supposed to encourage and edify one another, including those who minister to the family of God. (1 Thess. 5:11)
Seek a Relationship
Recently a question was posed, "How welcoming are we as a church?" I sat and listened to the question, then pondered how I would answer. As a minister, we are welcomed with open arms, shown love, and even feast together. After awhile, the fellowship and invitations begin to be less and less. Often times as Ministers, in a new place, people are hesitant to build a relationship with the minister. If they do, we might see they are imperfect. We might see their shortcomings, their downfalls, their sin. However, ministers are just like you. Ministers thrive on relationships, but often find it hard to find true, intimate relationships with members of the congregation. I would encourage you to seek out a relationship with the Minister. They need someone who they spend time with and not talk about the work of the church. Ministers spend so much time pouring into people spiritually and trying to build relationships that it can become very exhausting and draining. Ministers need you to want a relationship with them and to seek that out.
Be Willing to Listen
Have you ever asked a Minister who they go to when they are struggling? Often times the answer is "no one" or "family". Let me encourage you, when you seek out that relationship - build a trust where a Minister can share their thoughts and you just listen. Ministers spend time listening and counseling others, but do not have anyone to listen when they need it the most. This often can lead to a feeling of isolation and being overwhelmed. Can you imagine carry your burden's and everyone else's burdens while not unloading those burdens on anyone else? Yes, Ministers should communicate and be open with others. Is this realistic? At times, ministers may not think so because they are the ones who are supposed to be leading. It's hard to share struggles with one another, especially if you are a minister. Listen to them, pick up on cues, and offer them what they need. More often than not, they just need an ear that will listen.
Get Involved
Do you want to help your minister? Get Involved! Ministers stand in front of their congregation and they preach about the importance of being involved in the church, being involved in the lives of others, and having an active role in ministry. At times it feels as if the message falls on deaf ears, which leads to feelings of being ineffective. Do you value the church and your minister? Get to work! Ministers become drained preaching the same message and offering opportunities for involvement only to have the same people to volunteer each time. I know there are some who want to be asked - ministers are not always good at asking. If you want to be involved, why not volunteer? The next opportunity you have to use your talent, don't hesitate - get involved!
I know this is very rough, but I'm afraid we are indirectly doing things to create feelings of anxiety, depression, ineffectiveness, etc. When the issue is compounded, it leads to thoughts that the world would be better off with that person. That is simply not true. Find ways to encourage your ministers daily. These are just a few ways to do that - What suggestions do you have?
What have you done to encourage your minister today?
If you are a minister and struggling, please reach out to me. I am available to you - (256) 566-5790 or andrewt519@gmail.com. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please seek professional help right away. I love you and appreciate the work that you are doing. You are in my prayers daily, even if I don't know you by name. God bless you and your work!
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