Parent Driven Church: Part 3

We continue with the series on the Parent Driven Church. Our society is moving more and more towards being dependent on ministers and forgetting the groundwork that should be laid in the home so the Youth Minister can supplement that teaching. We need to get back to having a Parent Driven Church and I hope this blog will help you find ways to do exactly that. You can find Part 1 and Part 2 by clicking the link. 

"Parents are usually the most important influence in their kids' lives" - Chapter 6 Stick Family Relationships, Sticky Faith: A Leader's Guide

Did you read that carefully? Parents are an important influence for their kids. As a youth minister, it is sometimes exhausting thinking about the responsibility that I have for the students in our ministry and for their faith (and sometimes lack thereof).While adult role models are important and should be a factor on youth ministry, there is nothing more important when it comes to Faith than the Parents.

Let me provide you with some research. Sociologist, Dr. Christian Smith from the University of Notre Dame conducted a nationwide telephone survey of more than 3,000 teens and their parents, as well as, 267 in-depth interviews and he concluded: "Most teenagers and their parents may not realize it, but a lot of research of sociology of religion suggests that the most important social influence in shaping young people's religious lives is the religious life models and taught to them by their parents."

Yes, there are exceptions but think about it this way. How many hours, on average, does a youth minister spend with your child compared to the hours parents are spending with their children? There is a vast difference in time there. Parents are most certainly the launching pad of their child's faith and because of time spent with them, Parents help to shape, guide, and mold their faith. Don't misunderstand, a Youth Minister's job is very important, as well, the point is Parents need to do a better job at home helping to mold their kids faith.

According to Search Institutes's nationwide study of 11,000 teenagers from 561 congregations, 12% of you have a regular dialogue with their mom on faith/life kids. In other words 1 out of 8 kids talk to their mom about faith. With dads, it is 1 out of 20, or 5%. Approximately 9% of teenagers engage in regular reading of the bible and devotions with their families. Not even 1 out of 10 teenagers are looking at scriptures with their parents.

When you do engage your children in dialogue about their faith, what questions are you asking? Is it the standard, "What did you talk about in church today?" "How was youth group?" "What did you think of the sermon?" and I think we already know the answers to the questions that our teens will respond with. According to Fuller Youth Institute, asking these questions can pay off, but what is really is important is that parents also share about their own faith. It is important that we are not only living out our faith, but talking to our kids about our faith, as well.

There are certain taboo issues that need to addressed and discussed that parents tend to shy away from, and even let the youth minister handle those issues (sometimes with it coming a little too late). For example, according to Kara Powell of FYI, she says, "Two different sets of data indicate that the more important religion (not just Christianity, but also other religions) is to parents, the more difficult it is for those same parents to talk with their kids bout sex." That's pretty disappointing. We have to find a way to have these conversations with our kids in a healthy, balanced, and scriptural way. These conversations help to guide, shape, and mold their faith.

Want to know how we can have a Parent Driven Church? Have a faith driven family that isn't afraid to share or talk about their faith with their kids. Don't avoid taboo conversations and encourage your kids to live out their faith.

*Research found in Chapter 6, "Sticky Family Relationships", in the book Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids. Dr. Kara E. Powell and Chap Clark, PhD. 

Parent Driven Church: Part 2

A week ago I started a series on the Parent Driven Church. Our society is moving more and more towards being dependent on ministers and forgetting the groundwork that should be laid in the home so the Youth Minister can supplement that teaching. We need to get back to having a Parent Driven Church and I hope this blog will help you find ways to do exactly that. 

Do you remember the first bible you ever received? Maybe it was a New Testament + Psalms bible, maybe you was handed a bible by the Gideons, maybe it was an illustrated bible; however, the one that sticks out in my mind is the bible that had an illustrated cover with a picture of Jesus surrounded by smiling children of all different colors. "Jesus loves the little children... red, yellow, black, and white, they are precious in His sight...." It was a very comforting and calming picture seeing all the children sitting at Jesus' feet, maybe there were even some sheep in the background, a very cute portrayal.

In reality, Jesus' version of relationship, especially inter-generational, was anything but cute. Radical and Revolutionary are the words that come to mind.

Let's look at Luke 9:28-36. Here we see Jesus going up on the mountain and taking Peter, James, and John with Him to pray. Can you imagine what the other 9 who were left behind must have been feeling? I would imagine there might have been some jealousy and insecurity that they felt from being excluded. It wasn't too long after this that an argument breaks out between the twelve disciples about who is the greatest. If you read Luke 9:47, it seems that Jesus doesn't actually hear the argument "knowing their thoughts, He took a little child and had him stand beside Him." Jesus continues in verse 48, "Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the on who sent me. For it is the one who is least among you all who is the greatest."

Within these two verses, Jesus places two figures before His disciples: himself, whom they respect, and a child, who in that culture held little intrinsic value. The good news: greatness can be pursued and possessed. The bad news: greatness comes from doing something counter-intuitive: welcoming a child.

It's important that we know and understand that Greek phrasing that Jesus uses in this well-known statement about inter-generational relationships. The Greek verb Jesus uses here for welcome is dechomai (deck-oh-my), which often meant showing hospitality to the guests, carrying with it the idea of servant hood. In the first century, the ones who generally took care of guests and children were women and slaves. These people were viewed different from, and even inferior, to male disciples.

In short, Jesus was asking the disciples to show utmost humility by embracing the kids in their midst, instead of arguing about their individual greatness. According to this principle, greatness - and great parenting and great Christian living - comes to light as we welcome children. 

Next Blog: Parent Driven Church: Part 3 "Family Relationships"

Parent Driven Church - Part 1

Growing up during holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas) we would gather at my Granny's home or at my Mawmaw and Pawpaw's home. We have a large amount of family that gathers under one roof for the holidays and no way for all of us to sit around one table to eat a meal together. So we set up two tables/areas: the adults' table and the kids' table.

I know that we are not the only family to use this clever and simple solution to accommodate our family. I can almost feel you smiling and nodding your head as you think about the two tables or areas at your family gatherings.

At my Granny's the kids (originally) sat at a table in the corner while the adults gathered around the dining room table. However, we outgrew this arrangement, so the great-grand kids sit around the table in the corner, the grand kids have graduated to the living room, and the adults still sit around the dining room table. At Mawmaw's the adults would gather around the dining room table in the dining room, while the kids gathered around the kitchen table and island area.

Eventually I thought I would "graduate" to the adults' table; alas, I am still waiting on this day to come as I watch our family grow even larger with the addition of spouses and more kids. However, I have a feeling that the adults would not understand our conversations as they had their pleasant conversation. Our table talk usually centered around gross and disgusting things until we were asked to stop or someone was grossed out (which was the ultimate reward!).

"In theory, we were at the same meal. In actuality, we had two very different experiences. This sounds a lot like how adults and kids experience church today.

Most churches have Adult Ministers and Youth Ministers. Adult mission trips and Student mission trips.

Do sixteen-year-olds need time to be together and on their own? Sure. As one youth worker told me, "The average sixteen-year-old guy doesn't want to talk about masturbation with Grandma in the room." Neither does Grandma, so that's a win-win!

But one of many mantras is that "balance is something we swing through on our way to the other extreme." I'm afraid that's what's happened here. In an effort to offer relevant and developmentally appropriate teaching and fellowship for children and teenagers, we have segregated - and I use that verb intentionally but not lightly - kids from the rest of the church.

And that segregation is causing kids to shelve their faith." - Excerpt used from Sticky Faith: Everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your kids. Dr. Kara E. Powell and Dr. Chap Clark. Chapter 5: A Sticky Web of Relationships

Next Blog: Parent Driven Church - Part 2 (Welcoming Children)

Want to be involved?

Have you ever wanted to be involved in mission work without the travel, preparation shots (ouch!), etc.? With Partners 4 Africa, they are always looking for help in different areas that does not require a lot of your time, but a heart that desires to help. When Dorian Flynn was with us, he shared a list of things that we can do to help his mission work. Today I would like to share that list with you.

• Make teaching materials: flip charts, posters (bible songs, bible facts, verses, etc.)
• Collect bible class supplies: paper, pens, pencils, stickers, bible coloring books and pages, easy to read bibles, composition notebooks, folders
• Soles for Souls: shoe drive
• Collect money to buy Zulu Bibles
• Make adult and children's items: crochet, knit, sew, etc.
• Have a Missions Day: every class has a missionary come tell them about the country where they work, the people, how they share Jesus, etc. A potluck that includes foods from other countries, as well as, from the U.S.
• Provide medical supplies: For clinics and hospitals, birthing kits, antibiotic ointment, aspirin, Tylenol, vitamins for adults and children, band aids, gauze, used glasses, etc.
• Adopt a hospital ward: provide sheets, blankets, and pillowcases
• Tie-Raid: gather all of the men's ties you can to ship to Africa
• Challenge to dig a well: Use the big water bottles and have one in the lobby at your building, make a cardboard "well" to put up front in the auditorium and after kids collect money in class, let them all come forward one Sunday and pour their money in the well.
• Feed a Family: individuals can give $25 to feed a family of 4 for one month in Zimbabwe. Includes cornmeal, oil and beans - their staple food
• Feed an orphan one meal for $0.50
• Support the sewing center at Nketa9 by collecting fabric, thread, buttons, zippers, etc.
• Buy needed items at yard sales for cheaper
• Pack banana boxes full of good used clothing to ship and involve the congregation
• Children can make book markers, teens can gather soccer equipment and uniforms, write notes of encouragement to your missionaries

I challenge you to find one thing on this list that you can do and start a movement locally to help our foreign missionaries. Our youth group will begin collecting $.50 to buy orphan meals, that is a project we plan to begin being a part of. If each student donates $.50 each week, we will have enough money for 15-20 meals for orphans each week. If we do that, in a year we will have provided between 700 - 1,050 meals to orphans in Africa. It is so simple to help, it just takes some initiative. 

For more information about Partners4Africa and Dorian Flynn, visit www.partners4africa.com

Evangelism

Every Thursday we have a youth bible study in our home using the Hashtag Video Series "For His Glory" as our material. This week we viewed the video on evangelism and discussed how we can evangelize.

For a 26 year old youth minister, I made the assumption that everyone knew this word "evangelism"; however, to a not yet Christian 6th grader, this word was foreign. So, the question, "What is evangelism?" came up before we even started the video, which was a perfect place to jump in to our discussion. We started from the beginning, defined the term, and talked about how we can use it to reach others before watching the video.

However, this exchange made me think - Are we failing our youth when they do not know what evangelism is? Am I taking their knowledge for granted and skipping over basic things that need to be reinforced? Are they ready for such a topic as Evangelism when they are still growing in their knowledge of who God is and what He does? These questions flooded my mind, then I came up with a simple answer. You are never too young to hear about how we should share God's love with other people, and we are never too old to stop wanting to share God's love with others. There is no age limit on evangelism and yet, we sometimes just skip right over and take it for granted that people understand this concept.

What is our mission? One of the things we focus on in our student ministry is simply the word "Go" which is a concept Jesus used in His ministry and reminds us to do the same.

• GO make disciples of all nations. (Matt. 28:19)

• GO baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (Matt. 28:19)

• GO out quickly to the streets and lanes of the city, and bring in the poor and crippled and blind and lame. (Luke 14:21)

• GO out to the highways and hedges and compel people to come in, that my house may be filled. (Luke 14:23)

• GO proclaim repentance and forgiveness of sins to all nations. (Luke 24:27)

• GO be witnesses of these things. (Luke 24:28)

• I chose you and appointed you that you should GO and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide. (John 15:16)

I want our students to have a heart for missions and evangelism, a heart that reaches out to the hurting, a heart that is concerned for the spiritual well-being of others, but we sometimes become so focused on those outside the church that we lose focus on the ones inside the church. We have students in our youth ministry we need to reach out to, parents who are hurting, and adults who are wavering. What are we doing to reach out to them? I challenged our group on Thursday night with this question, "What are you doing to reach out to others in our youth ministry?" The response: silence. No one had ever challenged them to reach out to our own, they had never thought of ways to reach out to them, and they certainly didn't have an answer when they were asked what they were doing. I could see the look in their eyes. It was a look of nervousness because they knew they should be wanting to do more, they just simply have not been doing it. I tossed some numbers at them concerning our ministry and the youth who are a part of it. They were simply astonished realizing that we were not reaching our full potential as a ministry. 

Evangelizing is a 365 day effort, not just an every now and then thing. It sometimes takes the smallest of tasks like simply inviting someone to worship with us, asking them to fellowship with us at an event, asking someone how they are doing, or telling someone they've been missed. Sometimes it simply takes a "Hello" on our part to welcome a visitor. There are a couple of conferences for our young people that specifically focus on evangelism. One in Montgomery, AL at the end of the summer, Southern Evangelism Conference (SEC) and one in South Carolina in November, East Coast Evangelism Conference (ECEC). It is my goal and my aim to take our youth to one of these every year to re-emphasize the importance of evangelism. For 3 days out of the year our youth receive training for 362 days of evangelism!

Let me share with you some tips and encouragement from the ECEC twitter page:

Pray every morning that God will bring someone hungry for the Gospel into your life. Study so you'll be ready when He does! #362evangelism

Going into school is going into one of the biggest mission fields in the world. Are u making a difference? #362evangelism

Invite those u eat lunch with to pray with u to bless ur food. #362evangelism

So, my question to you is simply this, "What are you doing to reach out to others in your school, your family, your church family, your workplace, or your community?"

Missions Workshop 2014

This week I have been blessed to be a part of the First Annual Missions Workshop at Rose Hill Church of Christ with our missionary from Africa, Dorian Flynn. I have never been a part of a missions workshop that took place during the time that normally a gospel meeting would've been held.

On Sunday, Dorian Flynn gave us an update on his work with Partners 4 Africa and preached two wonderful lessons. On Monday and Tuesday, we had men with missions experience come in and speak about their work, followed by a round table discussion with questions coming from the audience. Wednesday, Dorian again presented another wonderful lesson that closed out our workshop for this year.

I am truly thankful for the men who had the vision to put something like this together. It was truly inspiring to hear of all the wonderful things that God is doing through His servants around the world. It takes a special person to have the heart to be a missionary, especially overseas, and I am truly thankful that God is working through missionaries all over the world to spread the gospel.

One thing that helped to reignite a fire was the discussion on short-term missions. I've read several articles lately of the lack of change in a person that short-term missions has. Personally, I've always seen growth in people and a renewed energy to continue in God's work. However, to hear it straight for a missionary's mouth that short-term missions is something we need to be doing more of, was a breath of fresh air. Dorian explained that every youth, parent, adult, leader, etc. needed to at least be a part of a short-term trip (especially domestic) if they could not or would not go overseas. I have a heart to do short-term missions, but a life as a missionary? I don't feel called or compelled to do that, not yet anyways.

While life of missions overseas is great, we have a whole world in our own backyard in Columbus, GA. When Jesus said, "Go into all the world...", I think we sometimes miss the big picture and we focus too much on foreign missions and not domestic missions. Yes, a spark was ignited in me this week for missions work and I want to continue being a missionary, in Columbus, GA. I firmly believe we have so many opportunities to minister to people here and we have not seized those opportunities yet. It's going to take a lot of prayer, God's power, and faith but I believe we can a mission minded church right here in Columbus, GA.

Think of the possibilities: a homeless ministry, an inner-city ministry, clothing those in need, serving those who are financially strapped, a military ministry, and this doesn't begin to touch the service. My prayer is that we will open our heart to the mission field that lies before us and walk through the doors that God is opening up for us.

As our Socktober drive wrapped up, I was reminded of just how easy it is to be a servant to someone in need. For the month of October we asked for people to donate new socks, toiletries, non-perishable food, and blankets. The socks and blankets we will hand out directly to our homeless community for the winter while the supplies will go to our local homeless shelter. I was reminded of two verses:
1. Deuteronomy 15:11 - "For there will never cease to be poor in the land. Therefore I command you, ‘You shall open wide your hand to your brother, to the needy and to the poor, in your land.’"
           - There will always be people to serve. There will always be people in need. There will always be people who are poor. We need to open our hands and heart more to these people, to be a compassionate people.

2. Matthew 5:16 - "...let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven"
           -That's what it is about giving glory to our Father in Heaven and getting others to see His glory. The way we do that is allowing our light to shine through our good works. We can shine our light anywhere, but I want Rose Hill and our congregation to make a special effort to allow it to shine brighter here in our city.

Pray with me:

Father, we are so thankful for the many things you are doing around the world through mission work. I stand in awe of your almighty power. Father, I pray you will ignite a fire in us to be more mission minded, to take our mission to heart, and take your word to Columbus, GA. If there are opportunities that are waiting for us, I ask that you show it to us so we can continue to let our light shine and do good works. Help us to understand that everything we do, it's not through selfish ambition, but to give you the glory. I ask that you will bring revival to Columbus and reignite a passion in us to know your word and bring souls to Christ. Thank you for your continued love and I pray we never take that for granted but that we share your love to others. Bless Rose Hill, help us to be the church that helps the needy, supports the poor, and serves without conditions. Thank you for giving us the example of the ultimate servant, so we can pattern our lives after Him. It's in His most precious, holy, and loving name we pray. Amen.

In 2014...

Sunday I met with my youth committee, which helps me to successfully define our ministry and who we want to be, what we want to see, and what we can improve on. I enjoy the times we have together discussing the future because I am always looking ahead to what's next. Planning and preparing is something I enjoy doing (even though I fail at times) it is enjoyable and to a degree even relaxing for me. I look forward to the future!

However, sometimes God has different plans in store for us and our ministry. I constantly ask Him to show me the way that He wants us to go, to guide my steps, and to give me wisdom in making decisions when it comes to our ministry. I believe our focus always needs to be God-centered. Sometimes we lose that focus in the planning and executing of the plans even if it does involve something spiritual in nature. Are we doing event because we truly believe in the power it will have to help spiritually develop our students? Sometimes I worry that I lose sight in what God truly wants and that I am just filling the calendar with things just to have events. I pray that God is truly at work and giving me the wisdom to plan what is necessary for our student ministry. I also ask God to bring my ministry to the point where we aren't just focused on the students anymore but it is helping families to keep the conversation going at home and we are several working and moving parts, but together as a unit. 

In 2014 I want to be a better minister and husband. I want God to truly direct my steps and to remove any selfish ambition that is in the way of the ministry that God has laid before me. In 2014, I want to be able to touch the heart of each student and their families to supplement their spiritual development. In 2014, I want to see us take a more active approach in the outreach in our communities and make a direct impact on those people. In 2014, I want others to know God by showing them His love through my life. These are things that I desire. However, I want to do what God desires for me, in 2014.

Resurrection

As I sit in the office pondering different ministry ideas, one came back to me like a flood. I love to write. Write stories, Write lessons, Write sermons, etc... One thing I have not been writing was a blog. I enjoy sharing my personal journey through life and ministry, as well as, reading other youth minister's writings. It helps me to know that we share in some of the same struggles, that I am not the only one struggling in ministry with certain aspects. 

Today is resurrection day for my blog. I have not used this particular blog since 2007, but as I was going through I felt this was the most appropriate one to resurrect as it deals with my own personal ministry and views. You see over the years I have tried the whole blogging thing and I have many different blogs scattered throughout cyberspace. I had THREE just on blogger. I had two on tumblr and one on weebly. However, this is my Halloween resolution, to resurrect my blog and write in it on a regular basis to share with you my ups and downs, my victories and defeats, as I journey with God through youth ministry.

Have a blessed day!